Did you know the Chicago Bulls logo upside-down looks like a robot reading the Bible ...

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A Christian joke about road rage

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten The red light by accelerating through the intersection. 

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a hold ing cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, Naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car."

(via Church Funnies)

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Acts 2:38 joke

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, 'Stop -Acts 2:38!' (..turn from your sin...). 

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. 

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, 'Why did you just stand there? All she did was yell a scripture to you.' 'Scripture?' replied the burglar, 'She said she had an AXE and two 38's!'

(Here is the verse in full - Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.)

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The same sex marriage that angered gay activists

Over the weekend two New Zealand men, Travis McIntosh and Matt McCormick, got married. The laws of that country allow same sex marriage, but their wedding has angered gay activists. Why? Because the two men are heterosexual, not homosexual.

This is one of the most bizarre news stories I have read, and a twist in the whole gay marriage debate that I don't think anyone could have predicted. And in my view it is tragically funny. 

So why did they get married?

The reason these two men got married was not for love, was not out of a commitment to each other, was not for political, financial or taxation purposes, but it was to win a radio station competition for a trip to the 2015 Rugby World Cup in England.

So why have gay rights groups condemned the union?

Gay activists have come out and said the wedding was an insult as it trivialises the hard fought battle for marriage equality in that country. They also claim that it suggests that marriage between two men is something negative, or something outrageous that you would never consider, unless it was to win a competition or to have a laugh.

So what is the best Christian response?

I am not really sure what the best Christian response is, but I know I went through a range of emotions and thought-processes upon discovering the story.

Firstly, perhaps I am a superficial person, but what I actually did was have a laugh. Yes, I thought it was funny. These two guys are best friends, have known each other since they were six, have played rugby together and just wanted to win the competition and go travelling together. The competition was for two heterosexual men to get married and they did and they won the prize (they also look pretty happy about it all as well).

Secondly, I felt a certain amount of "I told you so". Many Christians have claimed that allowing same sex marriage in itself trivialises marriage in that it is fundamentally altering what has been held across all cultures for millennia that marriage is between a man and a woman. The gay marriage argument has fundamentally been about if two people love each other why can't they get marriage. Well if that is true, then why not the next step, if two people want to get married, regardless of whether they love each other, why can't they get married.

Thirdly, there was a certain sadness about it all. The two guys are mocking marriage. They are mocking traditional marriage and at the same time mocking same sex marriage. It is really sad that marriage could be held in such disregard.

Fourthly, perhaps in all of this it shows how much Christians have really lost the marriage debate. Lost the battle of the definition of marriage, in that it should be between a man and a woman. Lost the battle of the good purposes of marriage, in that it is there for the good of society, for the good of the family, for the good of the couple, and for the good of children. And lost the battle for the institution of marriage, in that people now openly mock and trivialise what God has set down for good.

As one commentator stated:

"If society insists on deconstructing marriage it must be prepared to endorse many more forms of marriage, to do anything less would be sheer hypocrisy."

Do I agree with what these two men have done? No, not all all. But it is funny, albeit it tragically funny. The marriage, and the competition that inspired it, makes a mockey of marriage, but so did the redefinition of marriage in the first place.

What do you think? What does this story say about marriage? (If you are going to comment please keep this post in mind)

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Did you know Joseph played tennis?

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God has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey. When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons. 

The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie. The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer. Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. 

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever. 

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy? "He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? God's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!" 

Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked," Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added," You know, he's much younger than I expected." 

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

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